


The 90's Nightmare

by aspermoth



Category: Atop the Fourth Wall
Genre: Annoyance, Christmas, Comedic Violence, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspermoth/pseuds/aspermoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iron Liz and Linkara invite Linkara's <i>Atop The Fourth Wall</i> co-stars for Christmas, but then 90's Kid. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 90's Nightmare

It was less than a week until Christmas. It was a time of happiness. A time of joy. A time of peace, of love, of goodwill toward ladies, gentleman and others.

Well, everywhere except for Linkara's place.

It had been Iron Liz's idea, originally. _Invite everybody around for Christmas_ , she said. _What could be the harm?_ she said. _They've done so much for you_ , she said. And she was right. Plus, as far as Linkara knew, none of his _Atop The Fourth Wall_ co-stars had any family, so it was only fair that he ask the Ninja Style Dancer, Harvey Finevoice and 90's Kid to stay for Christmas.

And yeah, they'd all annoyed each other a bit. Liz had gotten into a baking spree the likes of which he had never seen before and filled the house with cookies that the Ninja Style Dancer kept sneaking off with, and Harvey kept breaking into Christmas carols and mostly forgotten jazz numbers, and even Linkara had to admit that he'd been more than a little bit annoying by jokingly brandishing mistletoe at Liz at every turn, but hey, it was Christmas. That sort of thing was to be expected.

But then 90's Kid.

That said it all, really. "But then 90's Kid". It almost didn't need elaboration at all. It was simple enough: he was driving all of them insane. Slowly but surely completely bat-shit insane.

All day long it was "DUUUUUDE" this and "SEGA GENESIS" that and "BLOOD GUN" this and "LIEFELD" that. Never ending. Never relenting. And the worst part was that nothing you could do would make him stop. Telling him to shut up did nothing. Hitting him with cushions, while therapeutic, was similarly ineffective. He just stared at you like a lost puppy before continuing on with whatever inane ramble he'd been going off on before the assault.

Harvey Finevoice cracked first. There was only so much a man could take. He stormed outside into the snow with a face like thunder and spent almost half an hour sitting outside smoking and fuming. By the time Liz and Linkara finally persuaded him to come back inside, the damage was done and a full-blown chest infection set in that left the furiously sulking Mr Finevoice bed-ridden with a hacking cough and no voice.

Liz was the next to go, although her mental break was less spectacular than Harvey's. She just took to wearing headphones and listening to very loud music all the time, which while more effective than Harvey's solution, left her very difficult to have a conversation with.

But it was only after Linkara was rudely awoken from sleep by an earth-shattering "DUUUUUDE" at six in the morning to find the Ninja Style Dancer lurking at the end of his bed with one of his cue cards, which read "Get rid of him or I quit" that Linkara finally lost it. This was it. The final, the very last straw.

The last thing that 90's Kid heard before a fist to the stomach propelled him backwards through the window was the echoing cry of "I AM A MAN!". Then he hit the glass and went straight through, landing on the balcony in a pile of snow. For once, he was lost for words.

The sound of shattering glass was loud enough even for Liz to hear, and she came running to find Linkara with a look of extreme serenity upon his face, glass all over the floor and snow gently blowing in through the broken window.

"Dammit, Linkara, I told you to open the window before defenestrating people!"

Linkara hunched his shoulders and looked at the floor.

"... sorry ma'am."

Linkara and 90's Kid spent the rest of the day boarding up the window in the freezing cold, but in Linkara's mind, it had been worth it.


End file.
